The month of September had finally arrived after a tough 9 moths of pregnancy. We were all very excited to meet the newest member of our family, but we needed our baby girl to stay put until after Daddy’s PhD seminar on September 7th. We as a family were in what I like call “seminar mode”. Seminar mode is when daddy has to get a lot of work done and mommy and daddy are really stressed out, but we try to keep life as normal as possible for our kids. In the midst of seminar mode, a potential hurricane decided to start coming our way. I began to play out every scenario in my head of what it would look like for us if a hurricane hit as I was having a baby. I was crying a lot and not doing well overall. I was physically and emotionally tired. Thankfully, the potential hurricane slowed down and turned another direction. Michael’s work had been canceled for a few days because of the potential hurricane, so he took that extra time to finish his seminar work. We could relax a little and get ready for our baby.
September 15, 2018 was becoming a typical Saturday in our home with an added anticipation that I could go into labor at any moment. We had a restful day and needed to run a few errands to get ready for birth. The moment I sat in our van to leave our house I had a contraction that required my attention. I had experienced prodromal labor for around 2 weeks, but this was different. I had to intentionally relax and stay quiet to get through the contraction. There was a bit of chaos with our boys loading into the van and I craved quiet, but I had to be mommy. As we were driving the boys fell asleep, so at our first destination of Lowe’s, I stayed in the van. I took a breath and let myself relax. Contractions began to come every 6 minutes, each lasting for 1 minute, and requiring me to intentionally relax my mind and body. I was sitting in the Lowe’s parking lot watching my sleeping children with strangers walking by while in early labor.
Michael made his way back to the van and we did the next most responsible thing; we went to Chick-fil-a! I had decided before labor that I wanted a frosted coffee and fries, and labor wasn’t going to change that craving. My contractions were now coming about every 5 minutes, but they hadn’t gained any more strength. I sipped my frosted coffee and ate my fries as we drove home and kept track of my contractions. Michael and I laughed about how we would have never been driving around while I was in labor with the first two births, but the third, why not. We arrived home and woke the boys so they could eat, and no surprise, my contractions slowed down as I was needing to take care of my children. After Gideon and Maddox finished dinner, we went for a walk to try to get contractions coming again. My contractions were coming every 8 minutes and required my focus to relax, but not near to their full potential. The mosquitoes were horrible and Maddox had a bite under his eye that was swelling, so we went back home. Michael got the boys ready for bed while I took a bath and laid down for a while.
Getting some alone time to collect my thoughts, rest, and pray was very helpful for me. I prayed that my boys would feel safe while away from Michael and me and that they would transition well to having a little sister. I needed to cast my worries to the Lord before I could go deep into labor. I wrote in my prayer journal for the Lord to get my baby girl out! My contractions were back to 6 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute each and requiring me to close my eyes and be intentional to relax my mind and body. I was at the threshold of going deep into contractions and I had to make sure my mind had the stamina I would need.
Around 8pm I kissed my boys good night as our friend, Madison, picked them up to spend the night at her house. I worried that Maddox would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic and not let Madison soothe him. Maddox usually woke up once during the night really upset and I would snuggle with him until he fell back asleep. I felt torn in caring for my sons and needing to focus on birthing my daughter. It is very hard for me to be in the vulnerable place of birth and trust that my older children will be safe. They were excited to have a spend-the-night at Madison’s house and I knew they were safe and loved.
Michael and I cleaned a little and watched a funny show while I worked through medium intense contractions. I decided to try to get some sleep while Michael laid out the tarp that we bought that day and setup the birth tub. We both tried to get some sleep, but I couldn’t rest. Things were getting more intense. With my first two births I needed Michael’s support, but letting him sleep and working on my own felt like what I needed to do. After all, I was going to get all the happy energy giving hormones that we mommies get after birth, and he wasn’t. I was about to be on 10 days of bed rest that my midwife requires, and Michael was going to be taking care of all of us during that time. He needed all the rest he could get. My midwife and I had been texting all day and I let her know that I thought active labor was going to be in the middle of the night.
I talked to Annabelle, who kicked every time a contraction squeezed her. I told her that she could come and I wanted to hold her and see her eyes. I asked her if she was a ginger like Maddox or a brunette like Gideon. She was in a great position, but it felt like she was punching my colon and tailbone. I moved around trying get my baby girl to get her fist off my lower back, but she wanted it to stay there. I was ready; I had gotten to that point of being at peace and knowing that the Lord would give my body and mind strength.
12:45am a contraction hit quickly with a wave that made me yell for Michael. He ran to the bathroom where I was and helped me to our bed after the contraction. I told him to call the midwife to tell her to get to our house. I tried to lay on my side but I felt a big pop! I jumped off the bed to my water breaking and felt a relief from pressure. The next contraction came very quickly and with an intensity that I remembered. We were close to having a baby! I had Michael call the midwife again, who was already on the way, to tell her things were progressing quickly. He also texted our friend, who was going to take pictures for us, to come over.
The contractions were intense, and that sweet little fist felt like a sledge hammer on my lower back. I asked Michael to fill the birth tub so I could get in for the water to relieve the pressure. I waited, working through contractions, trying to hold back until the midwives arrived. The door opened, it was my photographer friend. I heard a friendly greeting come from Michael’s voice. The door opened again, and there was my midwife, Ashley. Tension left my body when I heard her voice. I had spent so much time being cared for by her during my pregnancy and felt so safe in her care. I knew I could trust her. The door opened again with the second midwife, Effie. Effie stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. I felt her love and protection. She helped Michael get the water temperature just right while Ashley checked my blood pressure and Annabelle’s heart rate.
I was able to get in the tub and sat leaned back as another contraction came. Annabelle did her kick of protest and that little fist brought my lower back intense pain. I leaned over the side of the tub to find relief from the back pain. As each contraction came I thought, “Hold hands with it!” I was mentally coaching myself to realize that the contraction pain and I were not at war with each other. We were working together to bring one of God’s creations, my blessing, into the world. One contraction…Hold hands with it! Two contractions…Hold hands with it! I looked up and saw my sons’ newborn pictures and felt the love that rests in a mother’s heart.
It was time. Michael held my hand and whispered words of strength. The pressure came and my body knew what to do. No exams or instructions, but trust that my body was working. The pain, joy, shock all wrapped up together with the intensity of pushing. The pain in my backside was intense, the most intense I have felt pushing. The midwife said touch your baby, but I couldn’t. It was intense and I had hard work to do. I couldn’t pause my laboring mind to soak up the moment where my baby was in-between my womb and earth. I gave it everything I had! And my Annabelle was born. My baby was in my arms, trying to see my face. She was beautiful! The midwife said she was born with her hand up by her face. I knew that I had been feeling a little fist. Michael and I enjoyed our baby girl.
Everything slowed down, the work was over. Michael cut the cord and I nursed Annabelle. I said goodbye to our downstairs as everyone helped me up the stairs to start my bedrest. Annabelle was checked out on our bed beside me and then was place back on my chest to get warm and feel safe. Gideon and Maddox came home fresh out of bed to meet their baby sister. We enjoyed being together and loving each other. Children are a blessing from the Lord.
Thoughts from Michael:
Birth number three was completely different from the other two. The nervousness of having a baby was gone, but I was still nervous because we chose to do a home birth. The fear of not being at a hospital if something went wrong was very much at the front of my mind. But once labor started, everything seemed calm. Ashley was much more at peace during this labor and it progressed quickly.
My role changed as well. The first two in the hospital I played a big role of protector and comforter. But with everything happening in our home, protection and comfort were not needed by Ashley. I found myself able to sit and watch the birth rather than be an active participant. It was a joy to watch Ashley be a warrior in birth and see the miracle of life unfold through labor.
Nothing is more precious in life than holding your little baby for the first time. Hearing her sweet cries and holding her close to my chest is a memory I will have forever. From the very first moments of her life, she is one of the sweetest joys of my life and I’m am beyond blessed to be her daddy.
Annabelle Leigh Wang
9-16-18
3:03am
22 inches
7.14 pounds
